Tonight is quiet
Eerily quiet
Déjà vu quiet
Except the tree frogs and crickets still battle for supremacy in nature's symphony
And that night they didn’t
A few hours before I had closed the last door
Secured the last shutter
And stuttered my way to my mother's
With a heart heavy and all over the place
Casting energy to the universe for grace
For grace
For grace
She was coming
And whether we were ready or not
She was powerful and hot
Sucking all the air before her
To her order
We felt the weight of her
All through the wait for her
As she churned up land and water
Across the Caribbean
And we an archipelago of family
Worried about cousins and aunties
Uncles and parents
Grandparents and friends and children
And children
And children
Scattered at all ends of islands
Not ready
But prepared
For another round of…. Resilience
We hoped for the best
But feared the worst
Long before she burst her destruction upon us
That night many of us set differences aside
Across divides that had seemed for lifetimes
Went seeking for lifelines for survival and hope
And hope
And hope
And in the minutes between darkness and dawn
That felt like death
Many held our breath
And hoped that we would make it
As we stood powerless before the fullness of…. God
And silence
And when she took the roof
In the cold grey light of morning
And sent water to wash away our mother’s things
We thought not of sin, but salvation
As she wailed and groaned with the awfulness of a cyclone
We could only pray
Each of us to powers that we could only understand in our own way
And me
Yemaya please, please, please, ease, ease, ease
Easy, easy…steady now… spare us…hear us, crying out to you…
No more no more no more
Until she was gone
Just as strong
That morning I became an aunty mother
Waiting waiting waiting fighting plotting to evacuate my niece daughter to safety
And we became mourners
As in the days ahead
The region counted its dead
And named those that would remain unaccounted for
What’s more we became waiters….
As downed lines limited contact with loved ones
And we across the waters
Lived in limbo about whether they were there or had moved on
On a badly bruised, never beaten Soualiga
We had to become believers in
And then news of survival came in waves
First this aunty
Then that uncle
Then the cousins in Ebenezer, Dawn Beach, Union Farm
Friends accounted for in Belvedere,
Family and friends all over, no cause for alarm yet
Then winged air
Winair missions
And they are here
And we can breathe…again…somewhat
And some things remain nameless
When everything changes
Except us
Survivors
Rebuilders
Soldiers for islands that are always both
paradise and peril