For Louise
You left in your time
it is enough, you said, it is enough.
You let go, of the sucking-long-heave to breathe
of bones, muscles-loose in hanging skin heavy
too heavy to lift but light enough to fly away.
You did not want to talk anymore the day before,
you rested. I sat guarding your body
while your spirit flew,
unaware you were not lying there
till you returned…
“It was peaceful,” you said,
You saw your mother and father.
Cold feet,
so cold your body, shivering,
covered with sheets… I crawl under
arms around you, holding onto hope.
If I had held onto you close enough
we could have conceived.
It would have been immaculate.
I would have carried you right here,
in the hurt of heart
to be born again.