“Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,..” (Derek Walcott)
1.
filthy feathers, that painted shoe, trampled headpiece, etcetera
choking drains down the route,
street-light blinking out, stale roti
baddening the guts, your eyes sharp for midnight bandit
or coke jumbie looking to make ole mas
with the unwary —
you clown prince, you celebratory idiot
you forget she was Coolie Devil original,
Jab-Jab Mistress, maker of scourges?
2.
sometimes, I’m naked in streets
or lost, anguished, in exit-less ghettos
or the road ends down a tangled ravine
or, confused, can’t find my hotel
room or a place to pee; recurrent anxieties
troubled sleep —
yeah, keep the not-so-subtle
psycho-babble, but why, you next to me, no more dancing
no more high tenor, can’t find you?
3.
they say he wrote something unheard
with blood from his slashed wrists
a final, absolute word
of realization, some profundity of the abyss
he was swallowing through his cold veins
his now-sober, emptying mind —
his best friend
recalls a sudden spurt of wind that whipped curtains
round his photograph which shattered unspeakably.
4.
I had bus fare, but chose to walk
through late Friday afternoon
fish grills waking
beer trucks delivering, inane
noise of sound systems battering down Babylon
young girls half-naked —
didn’t look at none
but, like a crazy fool, watched your shut window for long
hours with the spy-glass of my filthy palms.
5.
how you didn’t know me?
your old dresses made the strips of rags
busts came from your stained pillow
your mother’s madras covered your self-same wigs
you painted the shoes that shade of yellow
your torn panties covered my crotch —
your bakanal heart make legs
in front my very eyes
and leave me a damn prancing fool.
6.
when this clown reach Sheol
you will see who is who
no masquerader and jester in hell
no Delilah nor gap-tooth Jezebel anywhere
no make-believe pardner
no ole mas performer —
I standing like a stripper
down from the pole-vault of my bare, secret privates
in front the Man who know all my grief.